I was looking forward to this Friday night all week, but had little time to prepare for it - it was just a strange week. I thought, "Will the people understand? I'm sure they will laugh some, but will they really understand?" In this culture, being serious is not a virtue.

"Will they be able to stay awake? Will they get bored? We don't have bread or grape juice..."

These were issues running through my head all week when I had time to think about it. I decided I would use some crackers as a substitute for bread and water instead of grape juice, because Jesus is also the "Water of Life" and it ties in real well.

When we started the service, it was already 7:30pm. Many people came, and sat down in a big square I had made around our small basketball court. I had Jojo read the story of Jesus washing the disciple's feet. After that we talked about what it means. I told the people to find a partner of a completely different age group. In this culture, the older you are, the more people will listen to you. There is definitely a hierarchy of child, teenager, adult, and elder. I sought to see this ordinance of Christ break down all cultural barriers and let the people understand the true attitude of a servant. I could only hope they would understand.

Jojo, Neneng and I were the first to demonstrate. We each picked an elder and washed their feet. At first, I was listening for everyone to start laughing. Silence. I continue on. I hear some whispers, a few of the children are chuckling under their breath. More silence. The people are watching with extreme interest. I washed the feet of Carling, a man who has recently become a good friend of ours and a strong supporter of the school. It was such a humbling experience, not washing his feet — no, but Him washing my feet. I watched him concentrating intently on cleaning my feet. The strong, hard hands of a farmer take my feet in his hands and gently remove the dust and dirt from the day of walking in my tsinilas(thongs). He was very thorough, very focused.

When he finished, I just gave him the biggest hug. Hugs are another thing that are not common in this culture, but he gave me a big hug back. Then we prayed together as a small group. The people followed our example, six pairs at a time. Soon, everyone was finished and it was obvious there was an atmosphere of holiness. I just felt God's presence, it had never been this quiet during any gathering in my whole experience here.

I proceeded onto the Lord's Supper. Then a thought came to me.

"Why not use rice instead of crackers?"

In Jesus' time and place, I don't think rice was a staple food. They had wheat I thought, and wasn't bread a common part of all or almost all meals? Even if I was wrong, I couldn't help seeing a better symbolism in rice, the staple food of all Filipinos, including the Mangyan. We can't live without food, rice is the main food we eat. It's not exactly 'broken' like bread but they can associate with this symbol. As I explained the significance of the Lord's Supper and read from the Bible explaining what items used in the Bible and our substitutes, I felt a calm reassurance that the words coming out of my mouth were not my words, but God's words. I felt like a 3rd party observer, not knowing where the words and analogies were coming from. I hadn't prepared for this well, it just happened.

As I let each person take a bit of rice from the plate, I couldn't help repeating to myself, "it's just so quiet...so quiet, I think they understand!"

After finishing with the rice, I continued on to the water symbolizing the wine and how Jesus is the "Water of Life" and reminding us of how His blood which was shed for us cleanses us from sin. We talked about eating and drinking Jesus. Many of these people can't read the Bible. I talked about how we can speak to God in prayer, reading the Bible everyday (for those that can), and admiring God through nature. I pointed to the mountain behind us, the mountain that supplies all of the people with their food so they can live. Just how we need to eat everyday, we need to eat our spiritual food everyday. It was almost 10pm by the time I finished and we really ate dinner together. Oh, I just can't tell you the joy I receive from seeing people's faces light up with understanding as they nod their heads and answer my questions. These are my friends, my native friends who treat me like one of theirs even though we come from such different backgrounds.

One of the hardest things for me is the realization of having to say goodbye. Adel, the other student missionary stopped here two days before this with Jim Webb on her way out to work for AFM in Nepal. She's only lived in a village for about two months yet when she left, the people were wailing. She told me about having to physically remove their arms around her so she could walk to the boat. She could even hear them crying when the boat was leaving - it was that loud. All of a sudden, I realized that I am leaving in only 5 days and I wasn't ready to say goodbye. Now I have only two more days in the village, and I am not looking forward to the goodbyes. I've been here in Agbalite almost 6 months off and on, how much harder will it be for me? I've already found out.

On Thursday, the last day of classes, almost anything would set me off and make me want to cry. My students were singing, "Oh Friend, do you love Jesus?" and after singing it for more than 15 minutes, one of the students changed the words to, ".... do you love Sir Tim?" I almost had to leave the room, I'm sure my tear ducts were fighting back the tears like the Hoover Dam ready to break. Seeing my student's little mannerisms when they are thinking hard, listening to them singing, and hearing their voices, brought so many feelings to me. How can I just walk away and leave all of them? They look up to me, they admire me. They were so brave speaking in front of the video camera. They had been working hard to answer some questions about their life and future that I had given them and translate them to English. Then they had to memorize them and read them back in front of the camera. They did such a good job, I just wanted to take each one in my arms and hold them close, to let them know how much I really love them.

On Friday, after handing out awards for students during closing ceremonies, I told little stories about each student and gave them a gift. Afterwards, many of the parents started getting choked up. One of the mothers just started sobbing, she ran up and put her arms around me as we walked to the house saying, "please don't leave! Please don't leave! I won't be able to hear your laugh any more. I will miss your company so much!!"

I just didn't know what to do. For some reason I couldn't cry. It just hurt too much. Then one of the old men came up with tears in his eyes, he must be almost 60 years old. He hugged me. Then one of the younger fathers we have, probably in his late twenties came up and gave me a big hug with tears in his eyes. Many more people cried but were able to recover quickly. I've scheduled a goodbye party on Sunday night (March 21), I will show them all my pictures and videos of them I've collected over my stay here. After that, I am certain we will be crying long and hard, and that I won't be able to sleep well that night, maybe not at all. Monday morning, I expect the boat to come and pick us up.

I will go to Pinagbayanan with as many students as want to go and will teach there for a week and a half alone, no other missionaries! WOOOHOO! It's gonna be great.

It's really in preparation for the older students for when they go to Mamburao but I'm inviting all of my students to come too. It will be combining the older students from two other villages. This will be a real good experience for me, I'm not the best leader and being in charge of perhaps 15 teenagers and some younger who are easily distracted and are experiencing 'hormones' is going to be tough. Also having no missionary to translate for me or to help administer authority and control will be a challenge. I want to have a LOT of fun but I realize I'm going to have to let them know I'm not a softy, they have to obey me. Lord help me, yet another task I cannot accomplish without His help.

Well, this letter has gotten quite long, if you've made it this far without skipping, give yourself a pat on the back. Please check my webpage out for pictures and other stories and updates in the following days. (After April 1)

Love you all,

~Tim De La Torre
Student Missionary from Pacific Union College for Laymen Ministries, Philippines

www.mindoro.org
www.lmn.org