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II Samuel 11:2
An Address to Christian
Women
By
a Brother in Christ
We hear a great deal about
the sin of David, but seldom does anyone mention the sin of
Bath-sheba. And it is true enough that David's sin was very
great and Bath-sheba's very small. David's sin was deliberate
and presumptuous, Bath-Sheba's only a sin of ignorance. David
committed adultery and murder; Bath-Sheba only carelessly
and undesignedly exposed herself before David's eyes. We have
no doubt that David's sin was great and Bath-Sheba's small.
Yet it remains a fact that
Bath-Sheba's little sin was the 'cause' of David's great sin.
Her little sin of ignorance, her little thoughtless and careless
exposure of herself, was the spark that kindled a great devouring
flame. "Behold how great a matter a little fire kindleth!"
On the one side, only a little carelessness-only a little
thoughtless, unintentional
exposure of herself before the eyes of David. But on the other
side, adultery and guilt of conscience; murder and the loss
of a husband, besides the death in battle of other innocent
men; great occasion for the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme;
the shame of an illegitimate pregnancy, and the death of the
child; the uprising and death of Absalom; the defiling of
David's wives in the sight of all Israel,; the sword never
departing from David's house(II Samuel 12:11-18). Again I
say, "Behold how great a matter a little fire kindleth!"
None of this great evil would
ever have taken place if Bath-Sheba had only been careful
not to display her body in the sight of a man. Observe: she
neither designed nor foresaw any of this evil, yet she was
the occasion of it all. She did not display herself 'purposely'
or 'wantonly: she did it only 'ignorantly' and 'thoughtlessly.
Yet the results of her little sin of ignorance were just the
same as if it had been purposeful
wantonness.
Now the reason for my writing
all of the above is this: there are many Christian women today
who are guilty of the same carelessness as Bath-sheba was.
Godly women, who would recoil with horror from the very thought
of wantonly displaying their bodies, do nevertheless carelessly
and thoughtlessly display themselves habitually, by the manner
in which they dress. I do not write to accuse them of intentional
wantonness. I believe they are as innocent of that as Bath-Sheba
was. But neither can I altogether excuse them from blame in
the matter. The whole world is well aware that certain kinds
of feminine dress are provocative and tempting to the eyes
and heart of a man-and are Christian women alone altogether
naive and ignorant?
This can hardly be; and yet I do not write to blame you, but
to instruct you-to provoke you to love and good works, to
make you thoughtful where you have been thoughtless before,
to make you careful for the spiritual welfare of the weakest
of your brethren, where you were careless about it before,
to make you wise where before you were simple.
The first thing that must be
understood is that nakedness before the eyes of others is
wrong. It is wrong in a man, and it is wrong in a woman. When
Adam and Eve sinned, "God made coats of skins, and clothed
them". The sole reason for his clothing them was to cover
their nakedness, as the Genesis account makes plain. Observe,
he clothed them with 'coats'. They were already wearing aprons,
which probably covered as much as, or more than, much of the
clothing that is worn today. Yet, in spite of their aprons,
they were still naked in their own eyes and God's. And God
did not clothe them with shorts, or swimming suits, or tank
tops, or "halter" tops, or anything of the sort-not with jackets,
either, but with coats, long coats, or 'robes' as the word
might be properly translated. Observe further, he "clothed
'them'" with coats. He did not clothe Eve with a coat, and
Adam with a pair of shorts. He clothed them 'both' with 'coats'-whence
we may assuredly gather that nakedness is just as wrong in
a man as it is in a woman.
But if it is equally wrong
for a man to expose his nakedness as it is for a woman, it
is not equally dangerous, for the passions of women are not
so easily or thoroughly aroused by the sight of a man's body-and
many women affirm that the sight does not arouse them at all.
A man may therefore (though he ought not to) go three-fourths
naked, and not do so much damage by it. But when a woman exposes
herself only a little, she becomes a fiery dart to tempt the
heart of every man who sees her. Like it or not, this is the
plain fact. And because this is a fact, you are not at liberty
to dress any way you please. "What? Know ye not your body
is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye
have of God, and ye are not your own? For you are bought with
a price: therefore glorify God in your body. " as well as
your spirit. (I Cor. 6:19-20)
But if you dress in such a way as to expose your body, or
parts of it, to the lustful gaze of every man who chooses
to look at you, you certainly do not glorify God in your body.
And if you fear God and love your neighbor, you 'dare' not
dress so. You dare not use the temple of the Holy Ghost as
an instrument of unrighteousness to allure the eyes and tempt
the hearts and tantalize the passions of men.
Many men are wicked and will
lust after you in spite of anything you can do to prevent
it. They have "eyes full of adultery and that cannot cease
from sin"(II Pet. 2:14) Should you therefore help them to
sin? Should you put further temptation in their way? Will
God excuse you if you do?
Other men, godly men, are not
wicked, but only weak. David was not wicked. He was a man
after God's own heart. But in the presence of an unclothed
woman, he was weak-and it would be a rare man who was not.
Brethren in Christ are not wicked, but they may be weak. And
the devil does all he can do to weaken them further. They
are forced to live in a world where they are continually bombarded
with sights which are designed by the enemy of their souls
to weaken their morals and destroy their purity of heart.
And must Christian women help the devil do his work? Must
they make
themselves a temptation to their brethren even in the congregation
of God? Oh, that you could understand the fierce and bitter
conflict in the souls of your brethren, when you arouse their
desires by the careless display of your feminine beauty. Oh,
that you could hear their pleadings with God for help and
deliverance from the power of these temptations. Oh that you
could see their tears of shame and repentance when the temptation
has overcome them, and they have sinned with eyes and heart
and mind. Never again would you plead for your right to dress
as you please.
The fact is, you have no such
right. You have no right to destroy by your careless dress
the brother for whom Christ died. You are bought with a price,
and you are not your own. You are duty-bound to glorify God
in our body-to clothe that body, not as you will, but as God
wills. And a little of real love for the souls of your brethren
would remove for ever from your heart the desire to dress
as you please. For, "We then that are strong ought to bear
with the Infirmities [that is, weaknesses] of the weak, and
'not to please ourselves'. Let every one of us please his
neighbor for his good to edification. For even Christ pleased
not himself, but as it is written, "the reproaches of them
that reproached thee fell upon me ". (Rom. 15:1-3) Christ
was willing to deny himself all the glories of heaven, and
bear all the reproaches of the ungodly for your sake, in order
to save your soul, and will you plead for your right to please
yourself in your dress? Can you not deny yourself a little
of comfort to save another man's soul? Can you not bear a
little reproach for being "old-fashioned" or "out of style",
in order to help your brother in his battle against sin?
You may think I'm making too
much of too little. You may suppose the case is not so serious
as I have represented it to be. But consider: you are a woman,
and cannot experience the passions of a man. You have your
own passions, but they are not the same as a man's. They are
(generally speaking) not so strong as a man's. Neither are
they so easily excited or inflamed as a man's. Nor are they
excited in the same manner as a man's. If you would understand
the workings of a man's passions towards a woman, you must
take a man's word for it. You cannot experience it yourself.
And the plain fact is, a man's passions are easily excited
by the 'sight'of woman's body, as was plainly the case with
David and Bath-Sheba, when he beheld her washing herself.
Most men, 'tis true, will be better able to resist your allurement
than David did Bath-Sheba's. They will not go so far as to
seduce or rape you. But how do you know that they can resist
the thought and desire of it? How do you know they do not
sin with their eyes and heart and imagination? There is great
pleasure to a man in merely looking and lusting, even though
he goes no farther. You know very well the Bible says, "Whosever
'looketh' on a woman to 'lust' after her, hath committed adultery
already with her in his heart"(Matt 5:28), and will you say
that this is not a serious matter? It is serious, for it is
'sin' , and sin is serious. Sin blights and deforms and ruins
and destroys and damns. And if you would know just 'how' serious
a matter this is, you need only read the next verse, which
says, "if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out and cast
it from thee; for it is profitable for thee that one of thy
members should perish, and not that thy whole body be cast
into hell". Here is probably the most solemn statement in
the Bible concerning the seriousness of sin, and it is spoken
with reference to the very sin, which you may so lightly and
thoughtlessly occasion by your careless dress. This is not
a light matter and you dare not treat it lightly. At this
point, you may say, "Amen: all true, but I do not need to
hear it, for 'I 'dress modestly". Are you quite sure of it?
If you follow the practices and fashions of this age, you
assuredly do not dress modestly, for modesty is ignored by
many of them, and purposely thrown to the wind by many others.
And it may be that you, being a woman, and not able to see
yourself through a man's eyes, are unable to perceive that
which may really be tempting and provocative in your own dress.
God would have you to be "as wise as
serpents and harmless as doves" (Matt 10:16). But if you unthinkingly
dress as the rest of the world does, you are assuredly neither
wise nor harmless. Not wise, for however ignorant and innocent
you may be, you are following a system of fashion which is
designed by wicked men and devils to break down and destroy
the morals of men. Not harmless, for however little you may
intend it, you thus make yourself a fiery dart in the hands
of the wicked one to tempt every man who sees you. You will
pardon my plain speaking then, if I give you some specific
instructions in order to make you 'wise'. That being done,
I have confidence that the godliness of your own heart will
make you 'harmless'.
As said before, the obvious
design of God in making clothes for Adam and Eve was to cover
their nakedness, and any clothing which fails to do so cannot
be right. Bare backs, bare midriffs, bare legs and thighs,
are 'wrong'-wrong in the sight of that God who clothed Adam
and Eve with coats to cover their bare bodies. Shorts, halter
tops, swimming suits, and anything and everything else which
intentionally leave you partially nude, have no place in the
dress of a woman professing godliness. Whatever the rest of
the world may do, 'you' are bound to do 'right'. And whatever
the rest of the 'church' may do, you are bound to do right.
And the things, which I just mentioned, are so obvious and
so flagrant a violation of the purpose of God in clothing
you, that there ought not to be a moment's question as to
what is right. But (alas) the standards of the church are
sunk so low in our day that there are actually Christians
and preachers who will defend such things. They will actually
defend what is called "mixed bathing"-that is, men and women
freely mixing together in almost a state of nudity. Have they
no shame? Have they no sense? I do not believe they will defend
such things when they stand before the judgment seat of Christ.
If they have no shame now, they will have some then. Meanwhile,
we will say no more about forms of dress which so obviously
thwart the purpose of God. Let us turn our thoughts to some
things which, while less flagrant, nevertheless violate the
evident purpose of clothing.
Short
dresses
You need no one to tell you
that these are wrong. The whole world knows they are provocative
to a man's eyes. But women who profess godliness, women who
ought to know better, will simply follow the current fashions
of the world, long or short, without any reference to what
is 'right'. Others will quibble about how short is too short.
Rather than making very sure their dresses are plenty long,
they will make them as short as they dare, while still persuading
themselves they are long enough. You may stand at attention
in front of your mirror, and persuade yourself that your too-short
dress reveals nothing, but only let you sit down, only let
you bend over, only let you get in or out of a car, and what
a spectacle of nudity you present. And whether you design
it or not, and whether you like it or not, those nude legs
and thighs of yours are provocation to lust in the eyes of
men.
For the same reason you ought
to have nothing to do with those skirts which are slit half-way
up the sides. Who cannot see the design of such a fashion
is to expose your thighs to view? Or is it to enable you to
walk? So much the worse if it is. If your skirt is so tight,
that you cannot walk without cutting the sides, by all means
throw it away, and get something with a little more material.
We shall have more to say about 'tight'
clothing later on. Do you ask how long your dresses out to
be? See that your legs are well covered below the knee, front
and back, while you are bending over and
sitting down, and you will be safe enough. But be careful
here: it is not enough that your legs should be covered only
from the vantage point of your own eyeballs. When you bend
over or sit down, the 'front' of your dress will be naturally
hang lower, so as to cover more of your legs, but the 'back'
will be drawn up so as to cover less. Very often I have seen
women sit down and carefully arrange the front of their skirt
so as to cover the topside of their thighs from their own
view, while leaving the sides and undersides of their thighs
completely exposed to the view of anyone sitting across from
them. And this will be unavoidable if your dresses are so
short that they only cover you down to the knees while you
are standing erect. If you would be safe, your dresses should
cover you well below the knee 'in all postures'.
Low
necklines
Again, the whole world knows
very well that these are a great temptation to the eyes of
a man. And if you are a godly woman, no doubt you would never
dream of purposely wearing a neckline too low. But you may
be doing it nevertheless, through thoughtlessness or ignorance.
It is not only low necklines which offend, but also 'large'
or 'loose' ones. You stand erect in front of your mirror wearing
a large or loose neckline, and think it perfectly modest.
But only bend over a little, so that the material of your
blouse falls away from your body, and immediately the most
provocative
and tempting part of your anatomy is exposed to the view of
any man who happens to be standing in front of you. The same
is true, of course, when you dress with the top two or three
of your buttons of your blouse unbuttoned. This 'looks' provocative,
even if nothing were actually exposed by it. This 'looks'
seductive. It looks to a man as though you must 'design' to
expose yourself and tantalize his passions. What else can
he think? For what other purpose could you leave two or three
buttons of your blouse unbuttoned? Do you say it is for comfort?
Because you cannot bear a tight, choking collar? I believe
you could 'learn ' to bear it. as the men of the world do
in order to display their stylish neckties. But waive that.
It may be legitimate to leave your blouse open at the neck
for comfort's sake, and it may even be modest(depending upon
the garment), provided you unbutton 'one button only'. There
can be no possible reason or excuse for leaving two or three
buttons open. It will not add to your
comfort. It is simply following a wicked fashion of a wicked
world. Your collar will no more choke you with one button
open than it will with three. One button open will always
be a great plenty for comfort's sake, and with some blouses
it will be too much. If you can leave your top button open,
yet not expose your breasts when you bend over and the material
of your blouse falls away from your bosom, very well. This
may depend upon the nature of the blouse, as well as the size
of your bust. But if there is any danger of exposing yourself,
you had better button all your buttons. You might set the
top button down an inch or so, and make another buttonhole
for it, and thus provide for both comfort and modesty. You
can scarcely be too careful here, for there is no part of
a woman's body so alluring to a man as her breasts, and when
a man sees a woman with the top two or three of her buttons
open, he will probably conclude it is her intention to tempt
and tantalize men. Is this the impression you wish to give?
If not, button your buttons, snap your snaps, and zip your
zippers. And if you happen to bend over a little in front
of a man, and he sees your breasts actually exposed because
of your large, loose, low, or open necklines, unless he is
a very rare man, he 'will' be tantalized by the sight, whatever
you may think or intend. Therefore you cannot do as the rest
of the world does. Let your neckline be high enough and small
enough to in fact be a neckline, and not a chest or shoulder
line, and you will be safe.
Note well: this means if the
neck hole of your garment is large enough to slip over your
head, it is probably too large. Your necklines should be of
the sort that youcan 'close up' with buttons or snaps after
you put the garment on.
Sleeveless
Blouses
Sleeveless blouses always reveal
too much. Little as you may be able to understand it, your
underarms, and the parts of your chest or back which immediately
adjoin them , are very attractive to a man; and a sleeveless
blouse cannot help but display these parts. You must also
bear in mind that others will see you at all angles and in
all positions, and the armholes of a sleeveless blouse will
often allow a man to see inside of the blouse, especially
when your arms are uplifted or outstretched, thus displaying
part of your chest, and probably some of your breast.
The same is true of a short
sleeved blouse which has very large or loose sleeves. This
may be perfectly modest as long as you keep your elbows at
your sides, but as soon as you raise your arms, you create
an opening through which a man may see inside your blouse,
and this is a great snare to his heart. Remember you are a
woman, and cannot see yourself as a man sees you. I am a man,
and know what it is to be tempted by such sights. And if only
the weakest of your brethren might be tempted by your sleeveless
or loose-sleeve blouses, ought you not deny yourself a little
of comfort or of fashion, and conceal your body a little better
for his good?
Sheer
clothing
It ought to be unnecessary
to say anything about clothing, which is so light or sheer
that a man may see through it. The obvious and undeniable
purpose of such clothing is to thwart the purpose of clothing,
and expose your body rather than covering it. This you cannot
help but realize. Everyone else knows it also, and when a
man sees you thus attired, what can he think but that is your
'intention' to display your body in his sight? and yet are
so low the standards in the church today that it is not uncommon
to see Christian women wearing see-through clothing. If you
have been guilty of this, your first business is to repent-to
reject anything which is obviously and purposely sheer. You
ought to be careful also not to wear any material which is
so light or so thin that it may be seen through when you are
in direct light, such as in front of a window. Finally, reject
any material of a very coarse weave: wear 'clothing', not
'netting'.
Tight
clothing
Dress which explicitly reveals
your 'form' is as bad as that which reveals your nakedness.
The whole world knows that such dress is provocative-notoriously
and proverbially so-and when a man sees a woman dressed in
tight clothing that reveals and displays every curve of her
form his passions will certainly be excited by the sight-
perhaps not so quickly or strongly as they would be by the
sight of your naked form, but excited nonetheless. The world
calls tight clothing "revealing", which is exactly
what it is-and as such it is an obvious violation of the purpose
of God in clothing you.
Every woman who professes godliness,
therefore, ought religiously to refuse every form of dress
which reveals and displays her figure. Specifically, you should
avoid sweater, sweat shirts, tee shirts, and anything made
of knit, stretchy, or soft, clinging material, unless perhaps
the fit is 'very loose'. 'Woven material', with some stiffness
and body to it, will conceal your form much better. This is
of the utmost importance, especially for a woman who is large
in the bust. There is no sight on earth which will surely
attract a man's eyes, and so quickly inflame his passions,
as the sight of a woman's breasts-whether they are actually
exposed, or their form displayed by tight or clinging clothing.
This is a fact which the world knows very well. Twenty-five
years ago the world was singing a popular song about the pleasure
of seeing a woman in a sweater and a tight skirt.
Now the natures of man and
woman have not changed in twenty-five years. When a man looks
at you he should see your clothing, and not the shape and
form of everything which is inside it. Sweaters, tee shirts,
and knit blouses in their very nature cling to your body and
reveal and display the shape and form of it. And you must
take a man's word for it that the 'shape and form' of a woman's
body, even though it is covered with clothing, will draw his
eyes, inflame his passions, or arouse his imagination, just
about as quickly and surely as the sight of her actual skin.
I do not say it is impossible for a woman to wear a sweater
or knit shirt which is not too revealing. What I do say is
that the sweaters and knit tops which American women usually
wear are almost always too tight. They might do better if
they would wear their sweaters several sizes larger than they
usually do. A woman who is very small in the bust may fairly
easily wear sweaters which are loose enough to conceal her
form, but the larger her breasts are, the more difficult this
will become. A woman who is large in the bust had best avoid
knit clothing altogether. She will have a hard enough time
of it to conceal her form without wearing sweaters. I cannot
emphasize this too much, or insist upon it too strongly.
A woman-especially a woman
who is large in the bust-must understand, must take a man's
word for it, that the sight of her bust may take away a man's
heart in a moment. If she would please her God and help her
brother in this fight against sin, she must dress in such
a way as to hide and conceal the form of her breasts. She
must therefore wear 'loose-fitting' blouses of woven (not
stretchy or knit) material. If she wishes to wear a sweater
for warmth, she can easily wear a loose cotton blouse 'over'(not
under it), and be warmer yet. True this would not be 'stylish',
but no matter about that. I am writing for godly women, who
would rather please God than the world. Understand also that
you will accomplish little by exchanging tight sweaters for
tight blouses. A blouse of woven material in its very nature
will conceal your form better than a sweater, but it may still
be provocative enough if it is too tight.
You ladies who are overweight
often offend in this, by wearing the same clothes you would
if you were twenty or thirty pounds lighter. And it is nothing
but foolish pride, which keeps you from wearing a larger size.
Your blouse should never be stretched tight across your bosom,
but should have enough slack in the fit that when a man looks
at you he sees the blouse, and not the form of what is inside
of it. For this reason you should also learn to avoid provocative
positions and postures. By this I mean any
position which makes your bust prominent, or stretches your
clothing tight over it- such as standing with your hands on
your hips and your elbows thrown back, or yawning and stretching
with your back arched. You should likewise refuse dresses
with what is called and "empress waistline"-which girds the
garment around your body immediately below the bust, instead
of at the waist. The unavoidable effect of this is to prominently
display your bust.
Again I tell you, I am a man,
and know very well what it is to be tempted by such sights-and
it may take only a moment's involuntary sight to turn a man's
heart into the wrong channels.
Slacks
Here we have come to a bone
of contention which divides churches, families, and friends.
The background is this: historically in our culture, the men
have worn pants, and the women dresses. This is an undisputed
fact, which is embodied in the proverbial expression that
a wife who runs the house "wears the pants in the family".
The "women's liberation movement",which is more than a century
old, has sought to put the pants on all the women, figuratively
speaking. It has sought to "liberate" the woman from her God-appointed
place of subjection to the man, and to give her "equal rights"
to do whatever the man may do . The spirit of this movement
has also put upon the woman's body the man's clothing-namely
slacks. And the church has followed the world in so doing.
Many of the older and stricter men of God, less influenced
by the world themselves, take a strong stand against women
wearing pants.
Slacks, they say, are men's
clothing, and (on the basis of Deut. 22:5) it is an abomination
for a woman to wear them. The younger set, most of whom have
grown up wearing slacks themselves, and who probably know
nothing of the historical background of the question, can
see no point in the stand which their elders take, and so
regard it as narrow-minded and petty. "The slacks which I
wear", they say, "were made for women and are not men's clothing".
On the one side it may be urged that God made neither slacks
for Adam, nor a dress for Eve, but coats for both of them.
Yet Deut. 22:5 certainly assumes that the same clothing is
not to be worn by both men and women, and it is also certain
that historically in our country the slacks have been the
men's clothing. Or it may be urged that the culture has changed,
so that slacks are now acceptable clothing for women also.
Yet when we consider the sinister forces which have wrought
to change this culture, we may plead that the change is in
no way recognized by God, but is an abomination to Him. I
say no more than this, for it is outside the purpose of this
article to settle this controversy. I do not ask here, is
it wrong in the 'eyes of God' to wear slacks? I ask, what
effect are her slacks likely to have on the 'eyes of men'?
And first, in their very nature, slacks are apt to reveal
and display your form. Women contend for 'modest' slacks,
but who wears them? In the
very nature of the case, it is difficult to make a pair of
modest slacks (especially for a woman who has a full figure),
and as a matter of fact, it is an extremely rare thing to
see a woman in slacks which are not too tight.
Why is this? Why may men wear
slacks which fit loosely, while the slacks of women must cling
to every inch of their thighs and hips and buttocks and crotch?
Verily it is because the god of this world who inspires these
styles, and he knows his business only too well. He knows
only too well that it is a snare to a man's heart to have
displayed before his eyes the form of a woman's thighs and
buttocks and crotch. Your crotch- your "private part" - you
ought to by all means keep carefully concealed at all times,
and there is nothing that will do it so well as a 'dress'.
A 'loose-fitting' skirt or dress, 'provided it is not too
short', is also the best possible clothing with which to conceal
all of the tempting parts of the anatomy which reside between
your waist and your knees.
But some women suppose that because their slacks are not skintight,
they are therefore modest. Well, now, supppose that your slacks
are loose enough that they leave a little space between the
material and your skin. Still, they basically display the
form of your legs and thighs and buttocks.
This is the nature of the garment
and can hardly be avoided. And further, as soon as you bend
over, or sit and squat, those "modest" slacks of yours will
be stretched just as tight over parts of your form as the
skintight slacks which other women wear. So unless you are
so thin that you have no form with which to attract a man,
or so fat that your form will only disgust him(and 'you' are
no competent judge of this), you had best leave slacks alone.
Though you may not be able to understand it (for the sight
of a man will probably not affect you in the same way), it
is the 'sight' of the 'form' which will arouse a man's passions.
What a man's touch is to a woman, the 'sight' of a woman is
to a man. This is plain enough in the Bible account of David
and Bath-Sheba, and every honest man will tell you the same
thing. You must believe it on the word of a man, though you
may not be able to understand it. The 'sight' of
the 'form' of your thighs and buttocks and crotch will tempt
the heart of a man, and it is the nature of slacks to display
the form of those parts. Some, who believe it is wrong for
a woman to wear slacks, but who wish to accomodate their ladies
for more masculine type activities, recommend the wearing
of culottes, which are a sort of a cross between a skirt and
slacks.
Our only question concerning
them is, are they modest or immodest? They may be either,
depending upon several things. If they are fashioned so as
to look like a loose-fitting skirt, or are long enough, they
may be as modest as a skirt. Unfortunately, many of them more
nearly resemble slacks, or even shorts, than a skirt. If yours
are long enough and loose enough to keep you covered and concealed
in all postures, they may be as acceptable as a modest skirt.
Enough for specific instructions.
We must next answer some objections.
First: "What right has this
fellow to prescribe all of these legalistic rules for women?"
I answer, if we lived without
sin in the garden of Eden, you could dress just as you please,
or not dress at all, and hurt no one by it. But in this world
you cannot, and if you do, you will only be contributing to
swell the tide of sin. I write for godly women, who want to
do what is right, but who are not likely to know 'how' without
some instruction from a man. I seek only to give you some
instruction, which only a man can give, concerning the effects
your dress will have on the men who see you. And I suppose
that truly godly women will be happy to receive such instruction.
It is usually the worldly, who are not willing to do right
at any cost, who raise the cry of legalism.
But "This is a small matter, and not worthy of so much ado".
We ought to occupied with the weightier matters of the heart,
and not make such a fuss over little outward things". This
may be an outward thing, but it is not a little one. Can you
read Matthew 5:28-29, and yet contend that this is a small
matter?
But suppose it is a little
matter: can you therefore lightly pass over it, or ignore
it? Not so, for "he that is faithful in that which is least
is faithful also in much, and he that is unjust in the least
is unjust also in much". (Luke 16:10) The Lord does not rebuke
the Jews for attending to the small matters, but only because
they did so to the neglect of the weightier matters. "These[the
weightier matters] ye ought to have done, and 'not to leave
the other' [the small matters] undone." (Luke 11:42) But,
"Any man who views women so must be perverted". Yes: be it
known to you that men are perverted. All men. We are sinners.
Our pristine purity is lost, and our hearts are natural and
strongly inclined to sin, and especially the sin of lust.
Sin 'easily' besets us. (Heb.12:1) But understand, though
all men are perverted from their original purity, and though
the 'passions' of all men(except those who are perverted in
a worse way)are alike in this matter, I would not want to
leave you with the impression that the practices of all men
are alike, or with feelings of uneasiness in the presence
of men. If you but 'dress right' and 'act right', and associate
with the right kind of men, in the right kind of situations,
there will be little occasion for you to be uneasy or uncomfortable.
But there will be plenty of occasion for you to be 'careful',even
in the presence of the best men. Why? Because though the godly
"have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts"(Gal.5:24),
have renounced the unlawful indulgence of those desires-yet
the desires themselves remain. It is in the godly that "the
flesh lusteth against the Spirit" (vs. 17).
Men may strive hard to mortify
those passions, but it is a matter of plain historical fact,
attested also by virtually universal experience, that the
most sincere and diligent endeavors to mortify those passions
are usually not very successful. The most of men, even the
best of men, are likely to be overcome by those passions.
It was a man of God who was overcome by the allurement of
Bathsheba. And since those passions are usually not to be
subdued by mortification, God himself prescribes a more effectual
method,
which is 'satisfaction'. "It is better to marry than to burn"(I
Cor. 7:9)
"To avoid fornication, let
every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her
own husband" (vs.2) He advises further, that being married,
we should freely and frequently indulge in the satisfaction
of those passions, "that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency"
(vs. 5).
"Incontinency" is lack of self-control.
It is, in plain English, the lack of ability to control those
passions. And Paul, writing by inspiration of the Holy Ghost,
simply 'assumes'that even the godly are likely to be "incontinent"
when it comes to the matter of sexual desire. And history
and experience unite to prove that many of the godliest of
men-including men who are godly and 'married'-have a very
hard struggle against the unlawful indulgence of those passions,
in look or in thought. Why is this? I believe it is most often
to be accounted for in the fact that their passions have never
been laid to rest by the satisfaction which marriage is designed
to give them. Their own marriage, for whatever reason, is
not what a marriage is designed to be.
Mere physical gratification
can never satisfy the heart of a man(any more than it can
the heart of a woman). For a man to be fully satisfied, and
his passions fixed upon an object, and so be laid to rest,
he must be "ravished always with LOVE" (Prov. 5:19).
And yet if you go through life with your eyes open, you must
be well aware that this ravishing love is the very thing,
which is missing in many marriages-among both the godly and
ungodly. Some have been led to marry without ever possessing
that kind of love in the first place. Others had it when they
married, but from various causes have lost it. Now whether
you wish to pity such persons, or blame them, or both, the
fact will still remain that there are many marriages, which
fall short of providing that ravishing romantic fulfillment
which will satisfy a man's passions and lay them to rest.
And it is another fact that a man who finds himself in such
a position, however he may have gotten there, will have a
very bitter struggle to try to subdue those passions, which
are still longing for fulfillment, but cannot obtain it.
Proverbs 5:19 says, "let her
breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou always ravished
with her love." There are two kinds of satisfaction spoken
of here, the one "by her breasts" and the other "by her love".
The former is obviously 'physical', the latter is, for lack
of a better term, 'emotional'. The first engages the body;
the second engages the soul. Every 'normal' man's sexual desires
embrace both of these things. (And so , by the way, do every
normal woman's. The physical desires may often predominate
in men, while the emotional may predominate in women; but
neither man nor woman can be satisfied without the fulfillment
of both) No man's passions are ever satisfied and laid to
rest until he possesses 'both' of these things together, in
the same woman. You know very well that the most ravishing
love on earth will never satisfy a man until he actually possesses
the object of his affections in physical lovemaking. But it
is equally true that physical gratification alone, without
a deep and
delightful romantic love, will ever satisfy a man either.
He must have both together. If he lacks one or the other(or
both)he will find his passions still persistently longing
for fulfillment, in spite of all his endeavors to subdue them.
And those desires are easily excited by the sight of the feminine
form. The battle is a hard one, and a man who is very strong
spiritually, but who lacks the fulfillment of those desires,
may in fact fare worse in the struggle than a much weaker
man who has found the fulfillment which every man craves.
David, we know, was a man of God, and through out the OT
histories, he is held up as a standard of godliness by which
all of his successors are judged. But the fact that he took
many wives is a pretty sure indicator that he never found
that 'complete satisfaction in ONE', which every man craves,
and which is the strength of every man who possesses it. Therefore
his desires still burned, and David was weak.
To return to the original question:
whether men are "perverted" or not is really beside the point.
How far his desires are normal and right, or how far they
are the result of his sinfulness, may be difficult to determine.
But what difference does it make? You must deal with the facts
as they are, not as you wish they were. The real facts are:
many men do not possess the ravishing romantic fulfillment,
which they cannot help but crave, and they are therefore weak,
and easily tempted by the sight of the feminine form.
Suppose that 'some' men are
so strong, or so fully satisfied in their own marriage, that
you could not tempt them if you would, what then? The fact
remains that 'many' men are weak and unsatisfied and burning.
With the strong you need not concern yourself, but you are
bound by duty(as you 'ought' to be moved by 'love') to "bear
the weaknesses of the weak"-yes, even of the weakest-and not
to put stumbling blocks in their way.
(Rom.15:1) But "If a man looks
on me to lust, that is his sin, not mine". Nay-"Now walkest
thou not charitably. Destroy not him with thy meat [or thy
'dress']for whom Christ died...It is good neither to eat flesh,
nor drink
wine, 'nor any thing which thy brother stumbleth or is offended
and made weak' ".
(Rom. 14:15,21) David was made
weak, David was made to stumble, by Bath-Sheba's careless
exposure of herself, and your display of your feminine beauty
will have the same effect upon your brethren.
After reading this article
you can hardly plead that you do not know this, and "to him
that 'knoweth' to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is
sin" (James 4:17). If you were completely ignorant of the
effects your dress might have upon a man, you might dress
as you please without sin, but not otherwise. Every man is
fully responsible for his own sin, but you will certainly
be held in some sense responsible for another man's sin, if
you provoke him to it. To Ezekiel, God said, "When I say unto
the wicked , O
wicked man, thou shalt surely die; if thou dost not speak
to warn the wicked from his way, that wicked man shall die
in his iniquity; 'but his blood will I require at thine hand'".
(Ezek. 33:8) The wicked is fully responsible for his own sin,
and shall surely die for it. But the watchman is held accountable
also, merely because he failed to do what he could have done
to turn the other man from sin. How much more will you be
held accountable if you put stumbling blocks in another man's
way, and actually provoke him to sin?
But "If I were to follow all
of these instructions, I would have to buy a whole new wardrobe,
and that I cannot afford". My sister, you can not afford to
sin. If you are a real Christian, you came to Christ resolving
to forsake every sin, and do the whole will of God, at any
cost. If you have a will to do right-you will find a way-or
cry to God to provide one. You can afford to change the way
you dress. You cannot afford to sin, or to provoke others
to sin.
But" I am not attractive or
shapely. No man is likely to be tempted by the sight of me.
Therefore I may dress as I please". In the first place, you
are no proper judge of what is attractive to a man. It is
of course true that a shapely and beautiful woman is more
likely to be a temptation to a man than a plain woman, but
it is also true that a woman who is not attractive to one
man will probably be to another, and even the homeliest
will attract somebody. But just suppose that you are actually
so ugly that no man would ever look twice at you. What about
your example to other women?
What about your example to
babes in Christ, who have dressed improperly through all their
ungodly life, and who may now be looking to you to teach them
and lead them in the right way? Do you want them to look at
you, and excuse their own improper dress on the basis of your
example?
Finally, some women are so
naive, so ignorant of the nature of men, that they suppose
that because no men are actually making advances or propositions
to them, they must be no temptation to any man. Let them understand
that a man derives great pleasure- sinful pleasure-from 'looking'
at women, from looking at any and every attractive woman.
Why do you suppose that man spend millions of dollars a year
for pornographic
'pictures'? Let the 'pictures' be left out of the pornographic
magazines, and see how many copies they would sell! What pleasure
is which men continually purchase at so great an expense?
What pleasure can pictures afford them, except the pleasure
of looking? It is looking at a woman's body, which inflames
a man's passions and regales his imagination, and there is
great pleasure in that looking.
Most men will freely indulge
in that pleasure, with little or no restraint. They will feast
their eyes upon the feminine form wherever they may find it,
and this of course will include your form if you dress so
as to expose and display it. Godly men will recognize that
pleasure as sinful, except when it is confined to their own
wife, and they will fight hard to resist the temptation and
conquer the sin. But because of the extreme strength and intensity
of the male passions, they find this to be a very hard battle.
The
spirit is willing, but in the face of strong temptations,
the flesh is weak. To will is present with them, but sometimes
how to perform they find not. In spite of all their determination
and praying and striving, they may find their eyes seemingly
involuntarily drawn to the sight of a beautiful and shapely
woman, and a moment's involuntary sight may be enough to take
the heart away. A man who has gained some mastery over this
kind of temptation may easily resist the initial onslaught,
but constant exposure to such allurements may weaken and break
down even the strongest.
Therefore we are told to "'flee' youthful lusts"(II Tim. 2:22)-to
flee from the very presence of such temptations. but whither
shall we flee in this wicked world? Must we flee from the
very congregation of God in order to keep our hearts pure?
Shame! Shame! If we cannot find a safe asylum there!
To conclude: there is nothing
at all evil or wrong about your physical beauty. it is the
creation of God, and is, like all God created, "very good".
It was designed by God for a specific purpose: the woman was
made "for the man"(I Cor. 11:9) The perfectly obvious design
of your beauty is to ravish and satisfy the heart of a man-but
'a' man, not of every man. If God has joined you to that one
man, then by all means give that beauty to him with all your
heart, and say to him, "make hast my beloved, and be thou
like to a roe or to a young hart upon the mountains of spices"
(Song of Solomon 8:14). Let him be, as God commands him, satisfied
with you at all times, and always ravished with your love
(Prov 5:19) . Thus satisfied, he will be the less susceptible
to the beauty of charms of other women. Thus used, the beauty
of your body will glorify the God who gave it to you, and
serve the man for who it was given. But if you put it on display
and prostitute it to the gaze of the whole world, you only
glorify yourself and serve the devil.
Postscript. If you are as most
woman are, much of the material in this article may be new
and strange to you. You may not be able to understand it,
and may be reluctant to believe it. Some of the woman who
have read the manuscript can scarcely be persuaded to believe
that the male passions are as I have represented them, but
to the 'men' to whom I have submitted it have fully endorsed
it. One of them (a godly man, and a preacher) said, "I wish
I had about 2 million copies". I beg you therefore to 'believe'
these things, though you may not be able to understand them.
Secondly, I beg you not to
be content with a single reading of this paper, but rather
to study it thoroughly several times through, so that you
may fully grasp and remember all that it says. Then, by all
means, act upon what it teaches you.
And finally, do everything
in your power to teach all these things to your sisters in
Christ. In doing so you will very much oblige,
Your Brother in Christ.
Notice: this may be freely
photocopied and distributed.
"Every soul in every conference,
in every part of the Lord's vineyard, has the privilege of
knowing the truth. But truth is not truth to those who do
not practice it. Truth is only truth to you when you live
it in daily life, showing the world what those people must
be who are at last saved." GC
Bulletin, April 3, 1901 par. 10
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