It's All About Perception...

60 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Montana plant gardens.

50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Billings sunbathe.

40 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Montana drive with the windows down.

32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Fort Peck gets thicker.

20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Montana throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Montana have the last cookout before it gets cold.

Zero:
People in Miami all die.
Montanans close the windows.

10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Montana get out their winter coats.

25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Montana are selling cookies door to door.

40 below zero:
Washington, DC runs out of hot air.
People in Montana let the dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Montanans get frustrated because they can't start the Mini-Van.

460 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.)
People in Montana start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"

500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.

Montana public schools are closed.

Contributed by Raymond Sansonetti